


Bane of Vertebrates

by nikkiscarlet



Series: The GO Project: For Science, For Justice, For Fun . . . But Mostly For Love. [2]
Category: Pokemon GO
Genre: Gen, Silly, Vignette, fic based on someone else's fanart, i just felt like slotting it in to the same universe as the previous fic :P, this fic is technically a standalone - Freeform, you don't need to have read part 1 of this series - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 10:27:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9176956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nikkiscarlet/pseuds/nikkiscarlet
Summary: Candela doesn't like spiders and will not be made to feel ashamed of that fact.Based onthis imageby fruitydrinksister.tumblr.com





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this image](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/67/86/55/678655a912f164c887f84da8920ee98b.jpg) by fruitydrinksister.tumblr.com . Was this fic necessary? Not in the slightest. Did I write it anyway? Yes. 
> 
> While I've technically slotted this in to the "[The GO Project: For Science, For Justice, For Fun . . . But Mostly For Love.](https://archiveofourown.org/series/622018)" series, this fic can stand on its own if you'd prefer not to read the rest of the works I'm putting under that umbrella. For those who did read and enjoy the Pokémon GO fic I wrote previous to this one ("[I Didn't Sign Up For This Mess](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8890339)"), though, please feel free to consider this a little something meant to bridge the waiting period a little bit while I work on some more material for that universe. :3

Blanche hadn’t been expecting to wear Candela like a backpack that day, but there they were. Candela clung to her, digging her nails painfully into her shoulder and breast as her feet continued to scramble for purchase on her hips, back, thighs . . . anywhere that might allow her to achieve better support and balance. All the while, she was gasping,

 

“Kill it, kill it, kill iiiit, Blanche, pleeeeeease kill iiiiit . . . . ”

 

“I thought Team Valor was all about courage and fearlessness in battle,” said Blanche as she wobbled unsteadily in the direction of the wall where the fly swatter was hung.

 

“We’re brave, not suicidal,” said Candela, locking her ankles once her thighs were securely around Blanche’s hips.

 

“You’re being ridiculous. This variety of spider is entirely harmless to humans.”

 

“There is _nothing_ ridiculous about a _totally natural_ fear of arthropods,” said Candela as Blanche picked up the swatter and lumbered the both of them back in the direction of the coffee table where Candela had first spotted the spider. “Us cute vertebrates have been at war with their kind forever. It dates back to pretty much the very beginning of multicellular life or whatever. I saw a documentary about it— . . . There it is, THERE IT IS!! Blanche, if it’s too much, let’s just set it on fire and run for the hills, okay? You don’t need to be a hero, but . . . SEND IT TO HELL WHERE IT BELONGS.”

 

Blanche was highly tempted to just throw Candela on the spider and let gravity take care of the rest, but decided she didn’t want to risk breaking the coffee table. She raised the swatter and Candela whimpered and clung tighter to her.

 

Just as Blanche was about to deliver swift and merciless death, however, a howling cry from the front door stopped her.  
  


“NOOOOOO!”

 

Spark dove right into the swatter’s path, hands upraised, and Blanche stopped just short of slapping him in the forehead with it. With Blanche halted, Spark quickly dug a folded scrap of paper out of his pocket and slid it under the spider’s feet, then gently lifted up both paper and spider, and carried them carefully back out the door.

 

“Come on, little buddy. I’ll take you back outside!”

 

Upon his return, the door shut dramatically behind him as he shot them both a condemning glare. “You _monsters._ ”

 

Despite being free of the spider’s supposed tyranny, Candela was still firmly attached to Blanche’s person. “You let it live,” she said, her voice quivering. “Now it’ll just breed and come back with an army.” She jabbed a finger in his direction, throwing off her and Blanche’s mutual balance and forcing Blanche to shift her already hunched position further forward in order to compensate.  “You’re a traitor to all vertebrates!”

 

Spark approached them, crossing his arms. “As someone who works closely with Pokémon, one would think you of all people would be able to put aside the way a creature looks and appreciate the beauty of—ffffuck fuck FUCK FUUUCK!” Spark suddenly yanked Blanche toward him, bringing Candela along, too, and turned the both of them around to look at the wall behind them. “Centipede, _CENTIPEDE!_ Kill it, Blanche, killitkillitKILLITWITHFIRE.” He threw his arms around both of them and cowered behind Blanche. Candela clung even tighter.

 

Blanche, unable to move anyway even if she wanted to, just sighed.


End file.
